Fwd: Christmas is Cancelled!

CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED!!

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS – OLD SANTA WAS PISSED.
HE CUSSED OUT THE ELVES AND THREW DOWN HIS LONG LIST.

MISERABLE LITTLE BRATS, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE JERKS. ...
I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO SCRAP THE WHOLE WORKS. ...

I'VE BUSTED MY ASS FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR.
INSTEAD OF "THANKS SANTA" – WHAT DO I HEAR?

MRS. SANTA BITCHES CAUSE I WORK LATE AT NIGHT…
THE ELVES WANT MORE MONEY –THE REINDEER ALL FIGHT.

RUDOLPH GOT DRUNK AND CRASHED THE DAMN SLED.
DONNER IS PREGNANT, VIXEN'S JUST OUT OF HIS HEAD.

AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER,
THOSE BUTT WHOLES FROM THE BYU SENT ME A LETTER.

THEY SAY I OWE TITHING – IF THAT AIN'T SO FUNNY.
WHO IN THE HELL EVER SENT SANTA MONEY?

THE KIDS THESE DAYS – THEIR ALL IN THE PITS.
THEY WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE…THOSE MEAN LITTLE TWITS.

I SPENT A WHOLE YEAR MAKING WAGONS AND SLEDS,
ASSEMBLING DOLLS, WITH THEIR ARMS, LEGS AND HEADS,

I MADE TONS OF YOYO'S –NO REQUEST FOR THEM…
THEY ALL WANT COMPUTERS…I'M NOT FREAKING IBM!

FLYING THROUGH THE AIR…DODGING THE TREES,
SLIDING DOWN CHIMNEYS AND SKINNING MY KNEES.

I'M QUITTING THIS JOB…THERE'S JUST NO ENJOYMENT.
I'LL SIT ON MY BUTT AND DRAW OBAMA UNEMPLOYMENT,