Fwd: Christmas is Cancelled!

CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED!!

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS – OLD SANTA WAS PISSED.
HE CUSSED OUT THE ELVES AND THREW DOWN HIS LONG LIST.

MISERABLE LITTLE BRATS, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE JERKS. ...
I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO SCRAP THE WHOLE WORKS. ...

I'VE BUSTED MY ASS FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR.
INSTEAD OF "THANKS SANTA" – WHAT DO I HEAR?

MRS. SANTA BITCHES CAUSE I WORK LATE AT NIGHT…
THE ELVES WANT MORE MONEY –THE REINDEER ALL FIGHT.

RUDOLPH GOT DRUNK AND CRASHED THE DAMN SLED.
DONNER IS PREGNANT, VIXEN'S JUST OUT OF HIS HEAD.

AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER,
THOSE BUTT WHOLES FROM THE BYU SENT ME A LETTER.

THEY SAY I OWE TITHING – IF THAT AIN'T SO FUNNY.
WHO IN THE HELL EVER SENT SANTA MONEY?

THE KIDS THESE DAYS – THEIR ALL IN THE PITS.
THEY WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE…THOSE MEAN LITTLE TWITS.

I SPENT A WHOLE YEAR MAKING WAGONS AND SLEDS,
ASSEMBLING DOLLS, WITH THEIR ARMS, LEGS AND HEADS,

I MADE TONS OF YOYO'S –NO REQUEST FOR THEM…
THEY ALL WANT COMPUTERS…I'M NOT FREAKING IBM!

FLYING THROUGH THE AIR…DODGING THE TREES,
SLIDING DOWN CHIMNEYS AND SKINNING MY KNEES.

I'M QUITTING THIS JOB…THERE'S JUST NO ENJOYMENT.
I'LL SIT ON MY BUTT AND DRAW OBAMA UNEMPLOYMENT,

Re: Reagan Warned Us About Obama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=lgh6wivCerE

Fwd: Election Evaluations Less than 1 page

From: Dean McClain 

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency.   It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.  The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America .  Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.   The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool.    It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."

Source: Czech Republic newspaper,Prager Zeitungon

Brother Dean

Obama Bumper Sticker removal kit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=201pgTaEseQ&NR=1&feature=endscreen

Joss Whedon Warns that Mitt Romney Could Spur Zombie Apocalypse

http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2012/10/29/joss-whedon-warns-that-mitt-romney-could-spur-zombie-apocalypse/

Fwd: Abbott & Costello for today

Begin forwarded message:

---

 

 

For those of you who don't know who Abbott and Costello were, too bad . . . . . But don't worry about it.)? Abbott and Costello explain the U.S. Accounting System. ? COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America. ? ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%. ? COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? ? ABBOTT: No, that's 16%. ? COSTELLO: You just said 9%. ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed. COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work. ABBOTT: No, that's 16%. COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed. ABBOTT: No, that's 9%... COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%? ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work. COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed. ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed. COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! ABBOTT: No, you miss my point. COSTELLO: What point? ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair. COSTELLO: To whom? ABBOTT: The unemployed. COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work. ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed. COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment rolls, that would count as less unemployment? ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely! COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work? ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment, do ya? COSTELLO: That would be frightening. ABBOTT: Absolutely. COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number? ABBOTT: Two ways is correct. COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? ABBOTT: Correct. COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job? ABBOTT: Bingo. COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work. ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist. COSTELLO: I don't even know what I just said! ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a politician.

Suave

Ann Coulter: On July 4, remember: We are not French

http://www.humanevents.com/2012/07/04/ann-coulter-on-july-4-remember-we-are-not-french/

Bailouts

Santorum tells Minnesotans the race is still on | INFORUM | Fargo, ND

http://www.inforum.com/event/article/id/349084/group/News/

I think that Santorum looks like some sitcom character who has no idea
what is really going on.

Iowa Nice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qLZZ6JD0g9Y

...Not sure if I flew over Iowa, since I had a connection in Minneapolis, but it is quite possible.