Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Fwd: important stuff

"If we concentrated on the really important stuff in life there'd be a shortage of fishing poles"



By Junius P. Long

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally, you live in a country run by idiots.

If you have to get your parents' permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion, you live in a country run by idiots.

If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor or check out a library book, but not to vote on who runs the government, you live in a country run by idiots.

If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy leaders in Egypt, you live in a country run by idiots.

If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat, you live in a country run by idiots.

If an 80-year-old woman can be strip searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched, you live in a country run by idiots.

If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more, you live in a country run by idiots.

If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of grade school for saying his teacher is "cute," but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable, you live in a country run by idiots.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing and free cell phones, you live in a country run by idiots.

If the government's plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working, with 99 weeks of unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can't find work, you live in a country run by idiots.

If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more "safe" according to the government, you live in a country run by idiots.

If you are offended by this article, you probably voted for the idiots who are running our country into the ground, YOU are the problem, not the solution.

Do us all a favor, go fishing.

 

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Sunday, August 3, 2014

Fwd: Nominee: Presidential Joke of the Year

President Obama walked into the Bank of America to cash a check. As he
approached the cashier he said, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please
cash this check for me?"


Cashier:
"It would be my pleasure sir. Would you please show me your ID?"


Obama:
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was
any need to. I am Barack Obama, the President of the United States of
AMERICA !!!!"


Cashier:
"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and
monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and
requirements of the Dodd /Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on
seeing your ID.


Obama:
"Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you.
Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier:
"I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."


Obama:
"I order you to cash this check!"


Cashier:
"Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day,
Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods
he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank
into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed
his check.



Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his
tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed
in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check.



So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only
you, as the President of the United States?"



Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says,
"Honestly, I can't think of a single thing. I don't have a clue what
to do.


Cashier:
"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?